Tuesday, March 23, 2010

A cellphone Joke..

Sometimes I do get mails like this:-

SALULAH Vodacom : How may we help you?

Customer : This is Julius Malema and I haff a big problem with my phone bill.. My wife, she think I haffing an affair!

Vodacom : Okay Sir, and how can we help you with this?

Customer : My bill haff all these calls to Salulah and my wife think I haffing an affair with this woman, but I never heard of her before. You must please trace these calls for me.

Vodacom : Sir, I'm sorry but the bill won't actually tell you the name of the person you're calling, just their number.

Customer : This one does.

Vodacom : What phone do you have, Sir?

Customer : A mobile. I tell you this.

Vodacom : No, Sir, what make? What do you have in your hands?

Customer : An erection.

After a moment's silence, the gallant Vodacom worker continued.
Vodacom : Um, sir? Could you spell that for me?

Customer : For sure - E..R..I..C..S..S..O..N. - Erection.
Another moment's silence from Vodacom, and suddenly the penny dropped.

Vodacom : Sir? Can you spell Salulah for me?

Customer : For sure. C..E..L...L..U..L..A...R. - Salulah

Friday, March 12, 2010

Facts can be stranger than fiction...

True Murder Story..Unbelievable.....

This one is something to think about...Just when you think you have heard everything!! Do you like to read a good murder mystery? Not even Law and Order would attempt to capture this mess. This is an unbelievable twist of fate!!!

At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, (AAFS) President Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death.

Here is the story:

On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a 10-story building intending to commit suicide.

He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

The room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun! The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr. Opus.

When one intends to kill subject 'A' but kills subject 'B' in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject 'B.' When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant, and both said that they thought the shotgun was not loaded. The old man said it was a long- standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her.

Therefore, the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, assuming the gun had been accidentally loaded.The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about 6 weeks prior to the fatal accident.

It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now for the exquisite twist... Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the 10 story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window. The son, Ronald Opus, had actually murdered himself. So the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide. A true story from Associated Press.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Like lilies of the field...

I'd never knew that she has gone home until I reach for the papers and saw her column. I felt very weak suddenly. I couldn't believed what I saw, this can't be true..this can't be true. I run few calls and wept after the confirmation.

I recalling Charles Spurgeon most popular work saying "there is nothing very pleasant recalling that we are not immune to adversity, but it may humble us and prevent our boasting (Pslm.30:6).
It may keep us from sinking our roots too deeply into this soil from which we are so soon be transplanted into the heavenly garden.

He wrote further, " Let us recall the frail claim we hold on our earthly blessings. If we would remember that all trees of the earth are marked for the woodsman's axe, we would not be so ready to build our nest in them. We should love the love that expects death and counts on separations. Our dear relatives are but loaned to us, and the hour when we must return them to the Lender's hand may be even at the door.

I felt so much comforted by these words...coincidently enough, these humble and wise words are written by Spurgeon on March 10, the same date as she left us.

May her soul rest in peace...